We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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