And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have post one night stand depression
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