We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
