; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize