Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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