wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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