She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
