everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize