So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
