I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize