she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
