Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
