When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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