hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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