The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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