me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hello my rib-scented angel!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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