i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
