This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There are leaves in my underwear?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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