i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
