Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
