Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
