And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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