Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
