Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
COCAINE IS GR8
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize