Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
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Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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