Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
