on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
