Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
