After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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