I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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