Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
