Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
