oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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