It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Houston, we have a blender
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
