just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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