do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
