i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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