Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am spending my child support on dildos
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
