I hate your face
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
