I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
