Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
