why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Randomize
