Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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