I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
