I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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