are you still at the devil's house?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
