Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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