Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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