i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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