suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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