my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
