The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
