i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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