haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
