God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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