I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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