You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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