on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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