Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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