If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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